Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
