i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
