Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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