I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
