The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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