Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
