The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
