I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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