Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
