Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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