no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize