drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
