i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
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