As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
