I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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