We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
