; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it's like iHOP with fire
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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