I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
