Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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