When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
