so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
