so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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