shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
