You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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