Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
