Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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