i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
