My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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