Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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