The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just forgot I was standing up.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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