dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
