they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
