Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
