I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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