Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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