If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
