I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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