I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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