Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
