If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
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