I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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