He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
