Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
