If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
