I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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