I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
