HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
