the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
