would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
