ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
