I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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