I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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