Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
