I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
