that's an acceptable place to lick
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
