she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize