hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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