Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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