That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
