Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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