It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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