you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just found puke in my bra..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
