i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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