i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
