I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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