people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
